| shit happens |
 shit happens
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Nov. 15th, 2005 @ 01:15 am 
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this weekend was great my friend phynix came to washington to visit friends and tie up loose ends in his relationship life. but it was great just to see him. i spent as much time with him as i could (with work being hectic and my son)but i really liked having him around again and just being able to hang out and spend time together.neal told me he was going back to california before he signed up for the air force and i dont know what to think.i dont want him to sing up if its just so he can see me again cause nothing in the military is definite the saying goes "dont be sad rainbow blue, my recruiter screwed me too." it is common for them to tell you anything to sign up cause to them your another bonus on their check, just another signature to boost their income. thus the begining of the military system to make you just another number. nothing more nothing less. the highest rating in conformity ever possible. they are taught how to reprogram you and alter your ways of thinking. conformity is an understatement for the military in my eyes. you are reprogramed and mind fucked so that you can no longer think for yourself and you become the governments drone no emotions,no will to think for yourself,and the only form of identity you are given is a number. and will forever be labeled as a number.i dont want to see neal go through that much pain just so he can see me again. and at the chance of loosing his father, thats even more of a risk. maybe i just dont see it the same way he does.but i just dont want to see him that hurt. and when i try to see him he is always to zoned out due to lack of sleep at first he was trying to spend time with seth before seth left for california but now that he is leaving too. now i cant see him or spend time with him cause our schedules are completely opposite. and he is sleeping when i am available. but anyway i got to get off this computer to get to sleep.Current Mood:  crappy Current Music: greenday brianstew |
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silver_greywolf's journal